Here I am again.
In darkness.
Surrounded by sorrow.
This time it's physical.
The exhaustion is just more than I can bear.
I want to sleep. forever. and no amount of sleep changes anything.
My limbs feel like they are burdened with heavy weights.
The simplest of tasks seem impossible.
I hate depression. I hate than I cannot just "snap" out of it. That it comes and goes of its own accord with little warning... and certainly no regard for me and those who are counting on me.
My family needs me to be ok. And I am not.
Over the past two years I have kept it at bay as I dealt with real events that would make anyone sad. through my grandmother's death. my father's Alzheimer's diagnosis. my best friend's loss of her baby girl. I could give you a reason for the blues.
today, there is no reason. it only is. and it feels like more than I can bear.
thankfully, I have been here before and I know there is help. that this isn't me and that I don't have to do this alone.
there is hope.